Wednesday, September 30, 2009
early in the morning went to zi qian house .
oh my god man .
i took the wrong route and went to the circle line .
what the hell :X
at last i alight at bartley mrt station and took a cab .
moving towards my destination ; bedok reservior :)
so i alighted under ziqian block .
she was already there waiting for me while talking to boyfriend on phone .
went up to her house to slack and disturb her boyfriend :X
so ziqian went to prepare for our way out to buona vista to meet cherry and aubrey .
happens to relate quite alot with ziqian while i'm at her house .
felt more relax after that .
so we went to take a bus to eunos mrt and took train to marsiling .
i took less than 45 mins to prepare myself and went out again .
so we take mrt to clementi and actually change to 147 to queensway shopping centre .
IDIOT !
can't find which bus stop exist that bus .
find until both me and her got so damn frustrated .
so i suggested to take a cab down to our destination ; i pay !
so as we reach QSC , aubrey cousin was there , so recommend *weisen .
we slack in QSC , and they kept disturbing me over my age .
*WEI MAN SHI BA SUI !!!
what the hell man , cannot take it !
they indeed disturb me until i'm going crazy :X
so after slacking at QSC mac and ate some french fries .
we took a bus directly to bugis .
we walk around and i bought a flipflop for cherry .
really hope that she will like it :D
and i bought two clutch wallet and one dress !
time running and it's already late .
everybody plan to go home , so went to sweettalk and treat everyone for a drink :)
proceeding on to yoshinoya to eat my *breakfast`lunch`dinner !
combination in one shot man :X
at last , aubrey left with weisen back home .
so ziqian also left us and together with me was cherry ,
we went back to zhenghua by cab and alighted at cherry house .
and at the same time i move alighted at baby house .
went up with pizza for him :)
after watching him finished the food , i stayed awhile and so went home .
another just went by like this ;
without knowing that i went down just to see him for an hour !
kinda shag , but there's nothing i can do .
baby is always busy !
Y
PaintMeAnILLUSION
1:53 AM
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
today went to yishun with 3boxers on my hand :X
luckily got plastic bag !
it's for baby de .
yesterday i asked baby for break up .
and he asked me what's the reason ??
hais , i realised i really don't bear to let go of him .
i think probably i should be more understanding le ba .
went to yishun alone to wait for cherry :)
reach there about 1 pm and walking around alone like crazy girl .
spent quite a long time inside minitoons .
at last bought 2 plastic bag to put two gift for two person .
saw what i wants to buy for pohying birthday too !
bought the laptop protector for cherry and a astray for baby .
baby treat me so cold today :((
at last i went to buy sushi for cherry too .
then i went to bus stop to fetch her and went to ishimura to eat .
she ate * salmon baked rice * and i ate * sausage baked rice *
my treat for today :)
so then aubrey came down to meet us , after eating we went to mac to smoke .
while smoking , baby told a lie .
kinda disppointed why must he lie to me ?!?!
i thought he wouldn't be like other guys but ended up .
HAIS ! loss of words to describe .
at last ziqian came down to join us .
we continue slacking until we went to take 171 to plaza just to pass baby his present .
planning to go back after giving .
but we ended up slacking at panjang plaza mac .
baby recieve already , we message ..
so as cherry left to her grandfather house .
i hold on to the mac i bought for baby to eat and walk to his house with ziqian .
reach his house , we hug !
and i really don't bear to let go .
i realised i really love him alot and i regretted mentioning to break off .
trying to be more understanding that he have to work
he can't get over his ex girlfriend .
i shall all put it behind me and love him with all i can .
i don't want to lose him :(
cherry quarrel with wuxian over my matter .
i really felt so sorry , but thanks for standing on my side :)
ILOVECHERRYCHENZILI <33
BABYtongchuan :)
currently missing you !
i'm so sorry about yesterday .
is now too late to keep back my words ?
i didn't mean it .
i really will learn to understand you more .
all i knew is i really don't want to lose you !
don't leave me alright ?
if loving you shows that i'm stupid , i rather never be clever :(
i love you and i really really do .
i'll get jealous over photos because i love you .
or else i wouldn't have bother about it .
i'm sorry for everything !
now , i want nothing , i just want you :)
you can go ahead and busy -
you can continue remembering your ex -
you can do anything you want -
for whatever you do :
just promise me , never leave me , will you ?
i'll learn to accept that you are working , is your ex , so on so forth !
give me some time alright .
i can change , for the sake of you ..
i'm indeed willing , but do you still love me ?
i'm still waiting for your final decision :(
all i know for now is i'm going to love you with all i can !
nothing is gonna change my love for you <3
Y
PaintMeAnILLUSION
12:13 AM
Monday, September 28, 2009
the baby i love so much which i really don't know how to let go !
i wanna let you go and be with her .
but i don't bear to !
BABY ; i really need you alot , but why must you neglect me ?
will you just spare some time to be with me .
i don't want to be left alone :(
i ever wanted to turn back to her , but i really can't bear to let go of our relationship .
although our relationship only lasted 1 week , but it meant alot to me :)
love me or love me not ? please don't let go .
you won't understand the agony and sorrow i'm feeling .
i've never hesitate loving you , but have you ?
how long will i need to take to win your whole heart ?
not partly here partly with her ?!?!
all i knew was loving you even i'm being stupid , i don't mind !
spent the whole day at home and running downstairs .
slept at 7plus today morning .
was actualy waiting for baby message or call , but he didn't !
so only manage to sleep for few hours and i woke up at 12 plus .
kinda steam and tired !
called baby ; he's already outside but due to busy -
so whole night until the time i called him , he didn't have time to sms me :X
so is this a excuse that i can accept ?
i indeed don't know whether is the trust there ?
it's too obvious that he don't trust me at all !
so must i continue to put in effort in this relationship .
at times i do wonder should i let go of him and he'll then have a chance ;
to return to shiya to try the relationship out again ?
but i can't bear to let go of him .
i don't what causes my love towards him so deep that it only lasted 1 week ?
but i think i shall accept the fact the loving him means i have to give in .
but at times he is indeed busy that he really has no time for me .
other than sleeping time , i don't even have time for each other .
i have plenty of time for him but not him :((
is this the regretment i feel ?
i don't regret choosing him as my bf .
but the main thing is , i knew that he will change to worse .
and he's already changing , and it's beyond his control and knowing !!
i do miss miaoling alot and having difficulties to let go .
for the sake of him i kept on trying my best to make it through :)
but does he know how much he actually meant to me ?
after knowing him , he indeed brighten up my days .
but at the same time making me stress too .
worrying that he don't know how to take care of himself .
tagging boy what to do and what not to do , he seems unsure too !
then my duty is to nag and warn him over the curfew time :P
today message pohying and talk to her about how i feel .
but i think forget it lo .
i think only cherry will really know what actgually happen .
wanted to relate to pohying more .
but no choice , it seems that she's also busy with wuxian everyday :)
hope that hope of them can really last .
something which i e xpected is that me and baby won't last through our first month !
i know it too well for myself , he don't love me at all :((
it's just a moment of blur and unsure causes him to like me .
when he don't even know what he is doing !
i won't leave him no matter what , but i think as time pass .
i'll have to accept the fact that he will slowly leave my life .
i believe that he can find a better and more understanding girl !
our life and character is totally different .
i have start to understand that loving is not as easy as what i think .
i don't want to bother if he is a flirter or playboy in the past .
what i know is i still love him .
but as for looking forward to future , it totally depend on him already :(
tears can flows down my cheeks , can close my eyes for what i've seen .
keep my ears off all the rumours about him .
actually i r 'm already getting frustrated these days .
he has been very moody due to tired , i know i should understand ,
so i kept calling him to ask about him but ..
ended up he giving me a very bad attitude while speaking to me .
hais , i'm indeed speechless , wanted to get angry but i don't bear to :X
i'm loving the present him , hope he have already change :)
how long will he take to get over shiya , to forget her from his mind ?!?!
who can tell me the answer ?
i guess i'm just a spare tire for him to find to cover his love for shiya that time
what will happen next ?
he is getting scary !
neglecting me , his call and message cut down , his attitude ..
so on so forth !
shall accept the fact that i'm not a very nice girl that deserve any better guy .
accept that my life is destined then !
looking forward to happy moments i'm going to have with him ,
ask myself ; when will this day come ?
is this our love or is this a moment of both our unsureness ?!?!
Y
PaintMeAnILLUSION
1:34 AM
