Saturday, September 26, 2009
today is kinda mood swing ; never eat whole day !
spent the whole yesterday night taking care of baby ..
afraid that i'll fall asleep and he can't wake up -
later tio huat by ah pek !!
headache is still on and stress :(
early in the morning , wake baby up to bath and prepare to go out .
he went out at 6.07am to temple with xian and er step father .
i'm left alone at his house , waiting to go home ..
i left baby house at exactly 10.30am to go home !
i don't know what happen to me that i started sending baby wierd messages ?
we so called quarrelled .. HAIS !
went home to prepare and rush to northpoint to meet miss gracee ..
OPPS ! i'm late :X
miss gracee , me and cherry sat in delifrance to talk about performance things .
it lasted till 2.30pm .
so me and baby went fine again .
but didn't that i expected , he gave me attitude and so ..
quarrel again !
what's going wrong man ??
what the hell , felt so irritated at that point of time :((
went back to zhenghua with sher to her house when i recieve teckping phone call .
so she went to sher place to meet us then we went to panjang plaza .
we sat down at starbucks to smoke and then saw ahsher friends .
so we went with them and then we went to cherry sintua .
but things is still the same , me and baby , DOTS !!
kinda sad but no choice , he don't seems to bother about me ..
just kept on wondering what went wrong , he is still busy , so .....
i went downstairs to walk around and kick a bangladesh :X
he's tesing me and i hate it ..
i stayed downstairs from 8.55pm , strolling around like nobody business .
waited and waited , seeing the clock ticks , and it's already 9.27pm !
BABY still not back yet , kinda worry but have no choice , there's no one there for me ??
HAIS !!!!!!!!!!!!!
so i happens to saw baby alighting from pohying step father car at 9.28pm .
kinda happy but at the same time stress ..
don't know how should i face him , throughout the whole day ; we have been bickering :((
some times i do asked myself whther if all these is going to continue ..
what's going to happen next ? last or break ?!?!
i myself don't know and i don't want to think about it too ...
things are going through my mind each day whther will he be like my ex's ?
started lovingly with me and ended with tears and saddening ?
i indeed knew nothing !
i really had enough of all the past and also wanting to start afresh with him ..
but does he know and does he wants ??
loving him indeed is my passion and i'm willing to do anything !
but not losing him to another girl again !
life is so injustice and unpredictable ...
what should i do , or should i say what can i ask for ??
during my time today at plaza , i told cherry alot .
about how i actually feel which i don't want baby to know !
is loving so difficult ? so hard to give in ?
i really very stress , bothering me everyday !!!
i told cherry that i don't know how , don't know why does i love him so much ?!?!
it's just one week of relationship , i have never ever feel this way before !!
i''m so unsure of what i'm thinking too .
i hated the way they hurt me , hope he won't do the same .
Y
PaintMeAnILLUSION
1:14 AM